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Updated: Dec 3, 2021

I found myself becoming a slave to hedonism.

Masquerading as a left-hand path magician,

Worshiping debauchery as a martyr,

The inevitable flip-side to decadence being pain.

If my response to chaos is adding fuel to the fire

to a hangover, having a drink;

to soreness, working out;

to being full, eating more;

to orgasm, seeking the next partner...

What does that make me? A sinner in the true sense of the word, one who misses the mark.

Redirected greed, systematic scrambling of brain cells, digging deeper into familiar grooves.

I am choosing to be a serf, my field is the sickening expanse of time, my lord is the devil.

Not as in Satan, but rather the tarot card.

Its meaning is defined as: being seduced by the material world and physical pleasures.

Also: Living in fear, domination and bondage; being caged by an overabundance of luxury.

A first world problem, a karmic fuck-up, a sad little paradox.

In my next life, I don’t want the dizzying freedom of choice. I want to be a monk.

Every day is a gift that I throw in the garbage.

Every moment of grace is a short-lived false epipĥany.

A fool who never grows up becomes a mad tyrant

Let’s agree to put all of our trust in luck and potentially die trying.

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